Oren Jay Sofer says, “If I could teach people only one tool for training in presence it would be to pause.” Pausing can make a big difference in our lives. It’s true. The challenge for some of us is to remember. So to help I’ve designed three mobile wallpapers.
Compassion in the Cloud
Shields Up: Edging Back Into Social Media
For years I’ve dabbled in various social media platforms… but I’ve always been wary. That’s because, as a computer programmer, I’ve been keenly aware since day one of the risks involved in trusting my fellow programmers. If you met enough programmers in person, I bet you wouldn’t automatically trust them either. Not to say they […]
Seeing Online Humiliation with Clear, Compassionate Eyes
“Online, we’ve got a compassion deficit, an empathy crisis…. We need to communicate online with compassion, consume news with compassion and click with compassion.” ~ Monica Lewinksy in a 2015 TED Talk
Online Words as Gifts
In June, Gil Fronsdal (a revered Buddhist teacher and scholar) gave a dharma talk on “Speaking as a Gift.” Since then, I’ve been experimenting with it — and have found that framing my words as gifts has been one of the most helpful strategies for Wise Speech I’ve ever encountered.
Training the Mind to Remain Compassionate
The focus of the fourth week of Oren Jay Sofer’s Wise Speech Course has been transforming habits, particularly our deeply ingrained patterns of communication. It’s a gigantic task, but happily there are aspects of it that are more approachable in online communications. In particular Oren offers a meditation that has worked well for lowering my email stress.
Wise Input: Some Initial Thoughts
Today wraps up week three of the Wise Speech Course with Oren Jay Sofer — a week devoted to Listening. Taking the course this year, I’m focusing on adapting the principles and techniques of Right Speech to the online world. But it turns out that for listening, this gets dicey, particularly pairing listening with social media.
Curiosity & Care Mobile Wallpaper
In the initial talk for the second week of “Wise Speech: An Introduction to Mindful Communication,” Oren Jay Sofer encouraged us to come from curiosity and care when we are communicating. To help remember this approach, I’ve created a wallpaper for mobile phones.
The Possibilities in a Pause Online
“Practicing Right Speech requires a dedication to mindfulness, especially to being aware of the impulse to speak before we actually speak. One approach for doing this is to develop the custom of pausing before speaking….” So what would happen if we did this simple practice of pausing in online communications — in email, social media, and texts?
Online Wise Speech Course with Oren Jay Sofer
If I had to name just one resource for Wise Speech it would be Buddhist teacher and CNVC trainer Oren Jay Sofer. In addition to publishing the most helpful book on wise speech that I know of (Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication), beginning tomorrow, he is offering a free 6-week […]
Is Compassion an Emotion?
On the first day of the Science and Wisdom of Emotions Summit, Buddhist monk Matthieu Ricard asks UCSF pioneer in the study of emotions Paul Ekman about his view on compassion from the perspective of fundamental emotions. Dr. Ekman’s answer is refreshingly clear, insightful, and concise.