In June, Gil Fronsdal (a revered Buddhist teacher and scholar) gave a dharma talk on “Speaking as a Gift.” Since then, I’ve been experimenting with it — and have found that framing my words as gifts has been one of the most helpful strategies for Wise Speech I’ve ever encountered.
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Training the Mind to Remain Compassionate
The focus of the fourth week of Oren Jay Sofer’s Wise Speech Course has been transforming habits, particularly our deeply ingrained patterns of communication. It’s a gigantic task, but happily there are aspects of it that are more approachable in online communications. In particular Oren offers a meditation that has worked well for lowering my email stress.
Wise Input: Some Initial Thoughts
Today wraps up week three of the Wise Speech Course with Oren Jay Sofer — a week devoted to Listening. Taking the course this year, I’m focusing on adapting the principles and techniques of Right Speech to the online world. But it turns out that for listening, this gets dicey, particularly pairing listening with social media.
Curiosity & Care Mobile Wallpaper
In the initial talk for the second week of “Wise Speech: An Introduction to Mindful Communication,” Oren Jay Sofer encouraged us to come from curiosity and care when we are communicating. To help remember this approach, I’ve created a wallpaper for mobile phones.
The Possibilities in a Pause Online
“Practicing Right Speech requires a dedication to mindfulness, especially to being aware of the impulse to speak before we actually speak. One approach for doing this is to develop the custom of pausing before speaking….” So what would happen if we did this simple practice of pausing in online communications — in email, social media, and texts?
Online Wise Speech Course with Oren Jay Sofer
If I had to name just one resource for Wise Speech it would be Buddhist teacher and CNVC trainer Oren Jay Sofer. In addition to publishing the most helpful book on wise speech that I know of (Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication), beginning tomorrow, he is offering a free 6-week […]
Is Compassion an Emotion?
On the first day of the Science and Wisdom of Emotions Summit, Buddhist monk Matthieu Ricard asks UCSF pioneer in the study of emotions Paul Ekman about his view on compassion from the perspective of fundamental emotions. Dr. Ekman’s answer is refreshingly clear, insightful, and concise.
Trust No One Online?
In yesterday’s New York Times, one of my favorite tech reporters, Brian X. Chen, concludes his column on “Tech Commandments to a Safer Digital Life” with: “Remember to Stay Skeptical.
All security experts agreed on one rule of thumb: Trust no one.” Stay skeptical — fine. But “trust no one”? This struck me as excessive…
A Mobile-Friendly NVC Needs List
The central insight of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is its focus on universal human needs. But what are basic needs? For those new to NVC, it’s often difficult to distinguish fundamental needs from emotions and judgments. As a result, a list of needs can be particularly helpful in understanding and practicing NVC. If there’s one core […]
The Bud Stands for All Things
The bud
stands for all things,
even for those things that don’t flower,
for everything flowers, from within, of self-blessing;
though sometimes it is necessary
to reteach a thing its loveliness….